VOD REVIEW: The unbearable Alive is dead on arrival

The worst part about horror-thriller arrival is that it’s neither scary, or provides edge-of-your-seat entertainment. It’s a grotesque, bloody affair with no method to its unwieldy, messy madness.

It’s an absolute drag to watch thespian Angus Macfadyen, who I really adore, trudge his way through this cardboard cutout mad scientist role, and he pushes and screams so much he borders on caricature.

The story of two severely injured people — a man and woman — who awake in an abandoned sanitarium under the care of a strange, mysterious man (Macfadyen) isn’t the least bit refreshing until the final frames.

Even then, the ending you get is for from any ending you could have wanted or hoped for, and will leave you feeling cold. It’s the kind of ending the writers of Saw would have thrown out, because it was even too sadistic for that schlocky franchise.

Director Rob Grant, who has worked in the editorial department of great films like Cabin In The Woods, Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes and Deadpool 2, has seemingly learned nothing from the great directors he’s been on set with.

With no tension or intrigue, he tries to use disgusting sight gags — no, scenes that will literally make you gag — to shock audiences, and it just doesn’t make for anything resembling enjoyable entertainment. Steer clear of this one, because there’s not a gleeful second — not even an ironic one — to be had.

1/5 Stars

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